I thought that the comedy throughout was done tastefully. I liked the line, "you flicked your hand towards me once more as if to finalize his bastard status." I think it's a useful way to give charisma to what would be an otherwise dramatic or caddy scene. I think that this narrator's voice is really good for avoiding a Gossip Girly tone.
I thought the scene in the bathroom was charming-- the idea of two people really hitting it off while some nameless girl cuddles a puddle of throw up is funny and believable. This scene reads like a lot of my own experiences at house parties, and that made it effective.
I don't know if we really need to know how Clara died, but I can't help but feel extremely interested in what it may have been. Maybe this makes it more interesting of a story, but if Caroline wanted to leave that detail out, I think the ending may be a bit too abrupt. They're crawling out the window and then Clara's dead, and even that seems to have some interpretive value. Maybe that's the reading on death, it is abrupt like the demise of Clara. One minute you're drawing flowers on the wall and the next you're dead. I guess I finish the story wishing there were a couple more pages-- maybe extend the bathroom scene somehow, or maybe more about what you see of Clara from across the party.
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