Rock and Roll 4/20 House Show

The other night I went to a battle of the bands house show that happened to coinside with the smokers “holiblaze” April, 20^th.  During the first band’s show, a band who’s name has escaped me, the projector that was used for special effects was showing a movie about Native Americans.  This got me thinking about the idea of having a movie play in the background of a rock and roll show, and what might inspire a band to use film imagery in their show. 

            Listening to their lyrics I decided that it was entirely possible, and more so probable, that the band had written each song to be paired with the storyline of the movie.  This got me thinking about something that Dr. Spell said earlier in the semester—something about taking a single song lyric or painting and writing a story about the image provided.  So I got to thinking about some of my favorite storylines and how they would fit into a series of poems.  I came to the conclusion that because of my lacking abilities to write a complete story, it would be a fantastic idea to take a movie like Django Unchained and separate some of the most powerful scenes and create a series of poems that recreate a similar story of abusive oppression and heroic rebellion.  I got to thinking even more and realized that this is a vice that Tarantino uses himself.  Jackie Brown starts out with an airport scene that is almost identical to the one at the intro of The Graduate.

            At the end of the show the band turned around and looked surprised to see the movie playing and the lead singer said, “Oh, hell yeah, I love that movie.  You guys should all watch that movie.”  And so even though my interpretation of the lyrics juxtaposition with the movie is completely off base and incorrect, I think that it inspired some good ideas for me. 

Big Blue Eyes by Morgan

I'm hooked by the concept of an interview with Casey Anthony.  Being so fresh and controversial makes it a great subject for the story.  Morgan does a really good job of getting inside the mind of an irresponsible and immature ex-mother.  I really like the justification that Casey Anthony gives for why she didn't notice that her daughter was missing for thirty days.  She's such a loon.  I like the detail that she reads the book on "autopilot," it just really illustrates the concept of her lack of care for her child and her viewing Caylee as more of a burden than blessing.  "Fighting with my mother over how to raise her or some other trivial thing," I thought that was hilariously ironic.  The ending is seriously fucked up, "it was my way of apologizing for not giving her the ending she wanted."  I almost think this is too real to be made up, it seems a lot like how Casey Anthony might actually view the world.  Maybe it just characterizes her the way I see her in my head, either way, it's an effective portrayal.

I had a bit of trouble determining who was talking at certain points.  Some of the times when Casey is describing the journalist but then gives a quote kind of jar me from the story.  For instance, "She sat there, flabbergasted. “What?” I question." sort of confused me, and took me a couple of times to get ahold of.  And although I liked the ending, I think that Casey admitting to the crime, even off the record, is a little unbelievable.  I don't see someone who just got through the most controversial trial of the decade being so willing to admit to murdering her daughter because of the "off the record" prompt.  

Overall, I thought this story was extremely interesting and quick.  Nicely done. 

Driver's License Sky Acton

I really enjoy the description in the first page of the story.  For instance, "The floor creaked and gave old crackles like a fire under each step I made," gives me a really good sense of the sounds that the narrator is describing.  I think this is also a pretty accurate description of what I could imagine the emotions of a gay man are like.  His struggle with societal views and inner "weakness" are about what I could conclude from episodes of Will and Grace.  I think that she does a good job of hinting at the depression and suicidal tendencies before finally "undressing the white cloth hiding his secret."  scratch that, I didn't realize the white cloth was hiding his moobs.  I see. 

I think this is too melodramatic for a story about a transexual and his male lover.  Furthermore, I'm a little confused about how this guy, Dominique, fell in love with a man-ish girl, but then still encouraged him/her to go through with the procedure so adamantly.  If he loves her/him why does he lack patience?  I mean, if Anthony is unsure about sex change, wouldn't Dominique be more understanding? it seems like a pretty irreversible thing. This almost reads like a feel good documentary-- not as much as fiction.  I think that it might be more compelling if the fact that they were gay and transexual or whatever was just a plot detail, but the story was about something less gushy.  LIke what if DHR is coming to take this daughter away because her mom/dad is presumably emotionally unstable and so the partners have to fight to keep their kid.  That would open up an opportunity to make the characters more charismatic and give the reader something to root for.  

Slutter by Taylor

I like the details about Levi Jamison.  Especially that his smiles make his cheeks so fat that his eyes are shut, and that his th's sound like f's because of his gummy voice.  I like the character of Levi in general. The conversation between Levi and the Vanilla girl was funny and charming.  I liked the commentary on racial variety, that made me laugh.  The scene where he renames Bullshit to "I doubt it" has a quirky humor to it that you might see in an indie romantic comedy.  That in addition with the nirvana t-shirt makes Saywer pretty close to Five-Hundred Days of Summer-hip.  I think that it fits in this story, though.  It isn't like Sawyer is constantly describing her interest in Portland, or Where the Wild Things Are, and Roman is characterized by the kind of guy who would rightfully be mesmerized by Sawyer's hippie style. I thought that the characterization of these three was done really well, and sets up to make them a good trio.
 I also liked the way the scenes cut from one to the next. I thought that they each transitioned well, and fit together extremely tightly.  The asterisks were almost unnecessary because the story flowed so well.

One of the things that kind of took me out of the story was that some of these descriptions are confusing to me.  "She was like a storm that never left,"I just don't really know how to take that.  One more thing that took me out was how rapid of a reader Sawyer was.  I suppose the book that Roman may have had was a short one, but if she's reading half of it while he watches, maybe he should detail how long he sits and stares at her.  Maybe this is a good chance to describe his attraction to her.

Caroline Barr Smoke Rings

I thought that the comedy throughout was done tastefully.  I liked the line, "you flicked your hand towards me once more as if to finalize his bastard status."  I think it's a useful way to give charisma to what would be an otherwise dramatic or caddy scene.  I think that this narrator's voice is really good for avoiding a Gossip Girly tone.
I thought the scene in the bathroom was charming-- the idea of two people really hitting it off while some nameless girl cuddles a puddle of throw up is funny and believable.  This scene reads like a lot of my own experiences at house parties, and that made it effective.
I don't know if we really need to know how Clara died, but I can't help but feel extremely interested in what it may have been.  Maybe this makes it more interesting of a story, but if Caroline wanted to leave that detail out, I think the ending may be a bit too abrupt.  They're crawling out the window and then Clara's dead, and even that seems to have some interpretive value.  Maybe that's the reading on death, it is abrupt like the demise of Clara. One minute you're drawing flowers on the wall and the next you're dead.  I guess I finish the story wishing there were a couple more pages-- maybe extend the bathroom scene somehow, or maybe more about what you see of Clara from across the party.

Cargo by Adam

I really like the description of the "humid oily wind," it reminds me of hot summer days in Eagleville, Misery.  Missouri*  I also thought the explanation of trucker's use of "Jack" was really funny, i took the short description that follows jack to be if they were to call someone jackass.  This could be completely unintentional, but I chuckled.  I think the descriptions in this version really flow a lot stronger than the previous version.  I think the improvements to this one are pretty abundantly clear.
The ending to this story is drastically improved.  This really transforms the narrative into something that effects the reader much more, the scene at the end between jacob and james is beautifully tragic.  The dialogue between the two is perfectly interspersed with description of broken lamps and james tripping over himself.  This is a really impressive story.

Katie Gillis Never the Same

I thought that the description of the bicycles and exercise attire were well integrated into the story.  I have a good image of the purple and mint striped bicycle that the narrator wheels out into the fresh air.  In this opening portion of the story I thought it definitely would have been beneficial to include some more description of Rob.  So far we have a lot of use of "our" to describe the couple-unit's emotions, but we don't even know what the husband looks like.  I have an image of the author in some biking clothes with some sort of generic brown headed guy, I wonder if he's some sort of tri-athalete after the comment that the narrator "had no problem keeping up with Rob."  She seems surprised to be able to maintain her husbands pace. Why is this? I think that the first section really has a lot of potential, I just think we need to see more of the couple's makeup.
I also really enjoy the idea of the wife trying to talk with the husband during the run.  It's a funny scene, a wife talking while a husband is focused on his run. I think there's a clever gender commentary there.  I think that you could even draw up this scene a little bit by describing how much she's panting while trying to talk to him during the run.  I know that it's extremely difficult to maintain any sort of conversation during a run that is remotely strenuous, so maybe if she's kind of killing her lungs and exhausting herself by trying to talk to him it would make for an even lighter scene.
At the end it seems a little bit exposition heavy... I think that if you added a scene of another run that maybe shows the differences in their relationship that would be interesting.  For instance, maybe Rob tries to communicate with the Syd at the end of the story, showing the change instead of the author having to tell us.
I thought this story was a cool take on the September 11th attacks.  I like the concept of trying to get into the mind of an average bystander.