I really like the description of the "humid oily wind," it reminds me of hot summer days in Eagleville, Misery. Missouri* I also thought the explanation of trucker's use of "Jack" was really funny, i took the short description that follows jack to be if they were to call someone jackass. This could be completely unintentional, but I chuckled. I think the descriptions in this version really flow a lot stronger than the previous version. I think the improvements to this one are pretty abundantly clear.
The ending to this story is drastically improved. This really transforms the narrative into something that effects the reader much more, the scene at the end between jacob and james is beautifully tragic. The dialogue between the two is perfectly interspersed with description of broken lamps and james tripping over himself. This is a really impressive story.
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