Tutti Fucking Fruity Meryl Hall

Andrea's voice is a useful way to remain organic while setting the story. The first person thoughts of a bitchy "rager" provides irony in her perception, for instance Andrea calling shane immature after he got her birthday presents instead of drugs.  I liked to be able to laugh at the idiocracy of an unlikable main character.  

I thought that the story outline was intriguing. I like the idea of following the perspective of a "femme fatale" through her conquests, and I think that the relationship between an asshole like Andrea and what seems like a "nice guy" Shane creates a good opportunity to explore the dynamic of a girl who walks all over her boyfriend.  Even though it seems like Shane should leave Andrea, he seems to be caught in her spell.  I think that Meryl could use this to really bring more humor and plot into the story. 

I think that the story needs more in the middle to make the connections from Shane stomping away from Andrea to them arriving at the ending.  There isn't enough plot to make me believe that Shane drives and waits in an abandoned house like a puppy dog.  I think that more of the party scene after shane stomps away or maybe a phone call or some sort of other interaction besides Andrea trying to get laid needs to take place.  

I think that if you take the personality of an evil woman and really examine it this story will come together nicely.