I really like the intro/hook to this story, the voice of a diluted alleged criminal is strong and lacking in perspective. I think his description of the jury's evil "slits for eyes" sounds like something that a cult member would actually say. His desire to "save" the young boy in the front of the courtroom really fills out Mr. Boham as a fanatical nut. The courtroom scene in the beginning of the story seems believable, the language that the prosecuting attorney uses is effective and realistic, especially his constant addressing of Bonham by name. I really like the voice of Bonham, especially how crazy he sounds in his own head. His constant reference to David Koresh as the Lord or God or the Messiah sets up well for the contrast between Mr. Bonham and Lydia's religious beliefs that takes place at the end of the story.
One thing is that the chauvinism coming from Mr. Bonham seems to be a little bit robotic. His transition from raping his wife to demanding dinner almost comes off as cliche. One of the things that kept bringing me out of the story was my constant questioning of the facts presented in the story, for instance, where did the ATF agents enter the Branch Dividians quarters in real life? Wasn't the tear gas an adverse effect of the fire that burned the members alive? I think that this could be solved by changing the name of the cult and leaving David Koresh out of the story. The use of real names serves to pull me out of the story and bring me to the google search bar.
I really enjoy these cult stories that we're getting, maybe something is in the air.
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