Kylie does a remarkable job of setting the opening
scene at the river. I thought that the use of italics was different than
what others in the class had been doing and was a useful way to show us the
river. The combination of dialogue and
detail makes the description come about naturally throughout the entire story.
Kylie's metaphor of her emotions, "escaping with the avalanche, tumbling
through my head and leaving me loose and unsteady." is original and
effective. This story has a nice ending to it, and a warming effect as
the siblings end up being back together on the river where it had all
started.
I
appreciate Kylie’s use of the youngest person in the story bestowing wisdom
upon the other characters. I think that
Michael is clearly the voice of immature wisdom during the scenes that Kate and
Lily are fighting with each other. I liked
that those fights reminded me of the way that my older sisters used to fight— always
in their bedrooms, and always like cats.
This may almost teeter on typical, but I think that the setting of the
bedroom for the first major conflict between Lily and Kate is appropriate.
This story has a plot that you might see from a TNT original television
series. I think the plot twist that the parents have died in a car wreck
is a little overused and makes the conflicts between Lily and Kate less
interesting. I think that some of the images of the scene like, “Eyes closed.
Arms raised. Face tilted upward. I smile as the sun strokes my skin, blanketing
my body in a nerve-tingling warmth” might
even be too warm for the reader. It’s
almost gushy in its language.
I think this story has vivid imagery
that carries its storyline throughout.
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