Logged Into Love

The story sets up a nice illustration of the emotions that Brandon goes through while waiting on her internet boyfriend, Sebastian to sign on to his computer and reconnect with her.  Brandon seems to have more of an inner conflict between the paranoid side of her that thinks that Sebastian has ditched her, and her calmer side which insists that he has not left her without notifying her.  

I liked the use of internet grammar. I thought that the use of ellipses in the conversation between "Chazzymouse" and Brandon was indicative of the young age and informal relationship of the characters.  I thought that using instant messaging for dialogue was a contemporary device that brought some flare to the story.  

I would have liked more at the end of the story.  I thought that when "Sebby"finally called Brandon the conversation could have been expanded.  I was interested in the details of the story about his belongings and the police investigation that followed, and I thought that it may have been wound up too quickly.  Some more dialogue from Sebastian that explains the story of how he got his things back might make for a more intriguing story.